As The Bird Chirps!

So I’m sitting on this old dead tree, minding my business, maybe pecking out a little rhythm to calm my nerves—when suddenly—

BAM! SPARROWS! 🤦‍♀️

Five of them explode onto the branch like someone dropped a bag of popcorn birds out of the sky.

All chirping.

All flapping.

All up in my personal space like I’m handing out free snacks.

One nearly lands on my HEAD.

My HEAD. 😡

That’s when I say, “Nope. I’m done.”

And I blast off toward my favorite hangout spot—the random birdhouse I like to sit on like it’s my own personal porch swing.

I land on it, trying to reclaim my peace, feathers still doing jazz hands—

and BOOM.

There she is.

Just one sparrow now.

The bold one.

The ringleader.

Looking at me like she’s about to challenge me to a staring contest I did not sign up for.

I’m like,

“Girl. No.”

“Wings up.”

“Back off.”

“Do you SEE this beak? I’m basically a feathery jackhammer with attitude.”

She hesitates.

I give her the full woodpecker glare.

Then a little hop.

Then one loud PECK! on the birdhouse for dramatic effect.

And that did it.

WHOOSH!

She takes off like I’d just informed her rent was due.

So yes—finally—peace.

One exhausted woodpecker.

One overly bold sparrow.

One mighty beak.

And I still came out on top.

And that, my friends, is how you establish dominance with nothing but a beak and a bad attitude. 😊